Context
An 11-year-old rugby player, known for her standout performances from a young age, had always been deeply passionate about the game. Starting at the age of 7, she quickly became one of the most reliable and dynamic players on her team. Her drive, skill, and love for the sport were unmistakable.
However, this season, everything changed.
Despite continuing to enjoy training and dreaming of playing professionally one day, the excitement she once felt on match days was replaced by severe anxiety. Before games, she would tremble, feel physically sick, and at times be so overcome with fear she couldn’t engage or perform. It was heartbreaking for her family to watch, a confident young athlete seemingly paralysed by pressure in the very space she once thrived.
Key Psychological Challenges
- Pre-Match Anxiety: Intense physical symptoms (shaking, nausea) leading up to matches against opponents.
- Fear of Letting Others Down: Believed she had failed her team when she couldn’t perform.
- Loss of Identity and Joy: Despite her love for rugby, she began questioning whether she deserved to play at all.
- Performance Pressure: Expectations based on previous success became internal burdens.
- External Validation Tied to Trophies: Not receiving an end-of-season award led to thoughts of worthlessness and self-doubt.
Intervention Strategy
Over several sessions, we focused on reframing her relationship with performance and helping her rediscover joy, purpose, and inner belief through a structured yet child-centered approach.
1. Understanding Emotions
We validated the anxiety she was feeling, helping her understand that nerves are natural – among elite athletes. She learned that emotional vulnerability didn’t make her weak; it made her human.
2. Reconnecting with Why She Plays
We revisited the roots of her passion – why she started playing rugby and what she truly loved about it. This helped shift her focus from outcomes (awards, wins) to process (joy, improvement, connection).
3. Positive Self-Talk & Affirmations
Through regular practice, she developed personal affirmations like “I am brave, I am ready, I belong here.” These became part of her pre-match routine and helped counteract fear with reassurance.
4. SMART Goal Setting
She began setting realistic, empowering goals – focusing on areas like communication, effort, and enjoying each game – rather than fixating on perfection or external rewards.
5. Control vs. No Control
She created a visual “Control List” to distinguish between what she could influence (effort, mindset, behaviour) and what she couldn’t (selection, referee decisions, opponent strength). This empowered her to focus on what mattered.
6. Reflection Tools
A Rugby Diary helped her track progress, celebrate small wins, and reflect on each game – building self-awareness and reinforcing growth.
7. Mental Imagery & Scenario Rehearsal
She learned to mentally rehearse challenging match situations, improving her emotional control and readiness. Visualising composure in high-pressure moments became part of her training.
Breakthrough Moments
- Captaincy: She went from paralysed by nerves to leading her team as captain in a county final – something she had once said would be her dream.
- Performance Under Pressure: Helped her team win the county plate, bouncing back from previous anxieties with courage and clarity.
- National Selection: Earned a place in contention to represent England in an international touch rugby tournament – a testament to her resilience and growth.
- Reframed Success: Understood that growth, teamwork, and emotional strength were just as important as medals and recognition.
Conclusion
This young athlete’s story is a powerful reminder that mental performance is just as important as physical training – especially for children navigating pressure, identity, and fear of failure. With the right support, reflection tools, and self-belief strategies, she didn’t just return to the game – she reclaimed it on her own terms.